Where Oh Where Is My Underwear

I lose a lot of things and mostly blame it on the theory that each time a lose a placenta with it I lose some brain cells. Times 3...that's a hefty loss. My keys need a clapper, they are always lost. The cell phone comes a close second. Luckily I can call myself from one of the other 5 phones around. But I have never...never ever ever...lost my underwear, until today.

We went to the gym to hang out at the pool. We had a fine time splashing around, having some snacks, etc. We didn't even experience the usual "It's time to go now"-drama. Such a pleasant experience. I dress the two little boys out at the pool then head to the locker room.

Of course I have way too much crap, as usual. The double stroller, huge gym bag, snack cooler, purse, diaper bag...and surprisingly...my cell phone AND keys. Here comes the karma. I go to get dressed..."hey...where's mommy's underwear?"
"How should I know?" says prince #1. Of course he doesn't understand the beauty of a rhetorical question so I shoo both the other boys out of the locker room to let me have my panic attack solo.

I pull everything out of my huger than huge gym bag. Search all through the double stroller holding nothing but a 18 pound baby and some crumbs. I'm frantic. DEAR GOD! I must have dropped them outside by the pool!

I yell for prince #1 who yells back because I just shoo'd him out of the locker room. I ask him to go check by where we were sitting to see if there is a pair of blue and black underwear laying around.

He's taking a while. I wrap a towel around me and peek out. No, No, NO!!! OH LORD! He's talking to a woman at the pool! Please don't let him be asking her if she has my underwear. I have to cancel our gym membership immediately! Forget it. I put on my very thin, knit gouchos that until now, have never seemed to be so clingy and huggy. There are some curves that do NOT need to be seen, ever.

Now I'm mortified and sure that everyone knows I'm going commando. The boys are dawdling. "Come ON!" I slightly shout so as not to cause commotion yet put the fear of God in them to hurry.

Phew. In the car. Safe from peering eyes. I can't even bring myself to check my bed where my gym bag last sat in case the undies aren't there. Because if they are not...oh...I can't even think about it.

Meanwhile...I'm still commando for some reason. It's a bit comfie. Hmmm. Who knew?